Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts

4.18.2012

Ominously ominous


Bosco: "Mommy, do you feel ominous?"

Me: "No. Do you feel ominous?"

Bosco: "No."

Me: "Do you know what ominous means?"

Bosco: "Yes."

Me: "Well..."

Bosco: "Well, I can't tell you because it's an ominous secret."



P.S. Thank you Sesame Street

P.P.S. If I were to do another giveaway in celebration of one more year I've kept up this blog, what should it be? Favorite store gift card, product? Now accepting suggestions (reasonable ones that will not make me roll my eyes in your general direction! And if they are not going to be reasonable at least make sure they are funny).

3.06.2012

I've hit my winter wall


I know I am thick in the middle of the winter doldrums when I let my kids watch PBS Kid shows for the better part of the morning, and I am singing “GO, GO, GO, GO on an adventure” right along with them. But really PBS Kids is hardly television. It’s interactive preschool. Let’s just call it like it is and be grateful that it exists, especially during these germ-ridden, claustrophobic, barren winter months.

Like I said, doldrums.
{One or the other always ends up being the human pillow. Thank you Sesame Street for bringing my sons closer.}

There is, of course, another sign that I’ve reached my quota of all things harsh and desolate, and that is when I start laughing uncontrollably at things that are not really deserving of such long-winded chortles.

For example, the following conversation between father and son gave my stomach muscles a nice workout:

Bosco: Daddy, what animal starts with the letter ‘A’?

Husband: Ummm, antelope.

Bosco: Daddy, I said what animal starts with the letter ‘A’?

Husband: Antelope.

Bosco: Daddy! What animal starts with the letter ‘A’?

Husband: Antelope!

Bosco: Um, Daddy, I don’t think you can hear what I’m saying. (Gets up and walks over to the Husband.) I said what animal starts with the letter ‘A’?!

Okay, actually that was pretty hilarious. Made me laugh all over again. Maybe that means spring is on the horizon. Maybe.

1.11.2012

Insert some sort of Harry Potter or Shakespeare reference here.

I’m not really a doer or a believer in New Year’s resolutions. I’m just as likely to procrastinate on my goals in January as I am in October so why make a big guilty to-do about it.
And if there are life changes I need to make then surely I shouldn’t be saving them up for the start of a new year. I should resolve to tackle them right then and there, even if I am in the heated throes of July. This is all in theory of course. I’ll do a follow-up post when and if I take my own advice.

But I do have a sort of New Year’s ritual though, that I find really does do wonders for me all year long. January 1st (or somewhere’s in that general time period) is usually reserved for buying half-priced calendars. I find that it’s hardly ever a bad idea to know what day it is. And there’s something satisfying about turning the page at month’s end. Like a, “Hey, I made it.” And a, “How old am I again?” Really gets my serotonin level up you know?

Anyway, this year for "the office" I chose a lovely collection of Japanese woodblock prints, and in doing so had an unexpected confrontation with my inner self. I think it was just a coincidence that it happened in January though.
When I approached the young man at the check out counter, I told him I was ready to make a purchase and he said, “Are you sure?” Apparently he was a mind reader who loved to torture passersby. I paused and wondered if I should have gone with the Monet prints instead. I answered him briskly, “No I’m not sure. But I’m getting this one anyway.” Take that indecisiveness!

The cashier seemed disappointed in my choice. Perhaps he thought the Kittens in Teacups would have better suited me, but instead he changed the subject and commented on the music playing over the store’s speakers. At the precise time that I was subconsciously humming along in my head to the Frank Sinatra and probably even discreetly tapping my toe, he asked me, “How do you like this music? I sure didn’t pick it.” My antithesis! Placed right before me! I replied, “Oh, what would you pick instead?” sure that he would reply with something like Metallica. “Oh I don’t know. Probably the Eagles.”(???) Then he somehow segued into talking about France is a sarcastic tone and it took a mighty effort not to roll my eyes. But I was triumphant. Take that inability to act mature in tense situations!

As the Husband and I left the store, I let that eye roll fly. Then I told the Husband that I rather enjoyed the store’s music. He agreed. Take that fear of opposing views and being the odd one out! I also told him France was my dream vacation. The Husband remained silent on that one.

Like I said before, I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, but maybe the year 2012 is trying to hint at a few things that need a little attention. How else can I explain meeting my own real-life foil character?

P.S. Lest my mother think of me as an abomination, I like the Eagles just fine. But as calendar shopping music? Please.

11.21.2011

Gratitude: In 15 Minutes or Less

The first 5 minutes

Me: Ok Bosco. We've got to go somewhere. I need you to get dressed.
Bosco: (Walking towards me slow motion) Well, I'm a sloth right now. A sloth is a monkey-ish animal that hangs from trees.
Me: I know what a sloth is, but I more surprised that you know. Okay Sloth, I need you to get dressed.
Bosco: Okay Mommy Sloth, but you know since I'm a sloth this will take an extra long time. Like 2000 minutes probably.
Me: Ugh

The next five minutes:

Me: Bosco! I hope you're getting dressed!
Bosco: (running towards me at lightning speed) No time! I'm a cheetah! Cheetahs are so fast you can barely see them when they pass! (running away from me at cheetah speed)
Me: Argh

Another five minutes:

Me: Okay we have to leave now! Get dressed!
Bosco: (donning a cape and sword) Okay Princess, I'll get right on that. I'm a prince ya know. And a prince always listens to the princess. It's his job.
Me: Oh. Ok. Sounds nice.
Bosco: And you should say thank you. I just saved you from an evil witch (proceeds to put on his clothes).
Me: Uhh, thanks, Prince.

:::Today I'm particularly grateful for sloths and tigers, because without them I would probably fail to realize and appreciate how great it is when the Prince decides to show up and rescue a damsel in distress.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving to all those Thanksgiving celebrators out there! Have fun getting your tryptophan on. I know I will.

8.10.2011

A conversation with Bosco regarding bunk beds, big toes, parachutes etc.


Me: Would you like to share a room with your brother?

Bosco: Oh yes. Sure. And then we could get bunk beds. And I would have the top since I'm not the baby. I know how to not fall off.

Me: Ok. And do you think you’d be able to get down to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night?

Bosco: Oh well, usually if I have to go to the bathroom really bad I just wiggle by big toe and stomp my legs on the ground. That usually does the trick.

Me: How do you wiggle your big toe and stomp at the same time?

Bosco: No, no. Not at the same time. I wiggle, then stomp. See. I wiggle my big toes like this (demonstration actually involves wiggling of all toes not just the big ones). Then stomp. It’s really loud.
Me: I think if you need to wiggle and stomp you've held it too long. And how are you planning on doing this in your bed while you’re asleep?

PAUSE

Bosco: Well, I guess you guys could get me a parachute so I could fly down the bed in time. That would probably work. Is it lunchtime yet?

Me: What about a ladder instead?

Bosco: No.

3.21.2011

This may be genetic. Hold me.

Lately my conversations with Bosco go something like this:

Me: Please sit in your seat and eat your dinner.
Bosco: This isn't my seat. This is daddy's seat.


Me: Please pick up your backpack and put it away.
Bosco: Well you could pick up the backpack yourself and put it on your back. Then it wouldn't be in your way.


Me: Turtles are cool because their home is on their back.
Bosco: It's a shell mommy not a home.


Me: Pick up your cars. I'm tired of stepping on them.
Bosco: These are trucks mommy, not cars. And you can just be careful and not step on them.


Me: Do you know you put your shirt on backwards? The tag is in the front.
Bosco: I didn't put my shirt on today mommy. You did it.


Okay never mind the fact the he is right. What about the fact that he's giving me a complex and a headache?

Not only do I have conversations like this with my son, but talking with the Husband isn't much different.


Me: You told me to pick my battles so I am. I'm putting my finger down on this one.
Husband: You mean your foot?

Semantics people! I'm arguing semantics with a three year old (and a 30 year-old). Come on!

Bottom line: Eat your dinner. Pick up your mess. Turn your shirt around. Do what I say cause I'm serious about this. And turtles are cool!

I'll tell you this much. I am really not looking forward to the day when Bubba can speak in complete sentences, and join the Use Mommy's Words Against Her Club. I'm just not ready for this three against one scenario.

I need a cookie.
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