Being a mom definitely puts me in the perfect position to say the most bizarre things ever, things I never would have a chance to say in some other area of my life. Maybe that’s because children do things that most adults would not do (regurgitate their milk while watching Sesame Street). Or maybe it’s because kids can turn your brain to mush if you’re not careful (No, I don’t think there are toys in your potty chair. Pretty sure it’s something else). I think this is true for most parents. You find yourself saying something just so ridiculous and if someone were to take a little listen into your conversation, not knowing you were talking to or about a child, they would have serious cause to report you to the local authorities.
Case in point: One day I was cleaning up Bosco’s bedroom. He was putting in minimal effort to help until he saw a long lost Cheerio that had somehow ended up underneath his bed. He moved Heaven and Earth to get to that O. Sweet little chap, I thought. So eager to pick up the mess he had made. If only I had known pick up meant eat it up. I really should have known based on past experience. As I saw him pop the aged piece of cereal into his mouth, the disgusted mother in me sprang up and out. Before I had time to realize what I was saying, the words “Don’t eat that! A spider may have pooped on it!” escaped my lips. Okay. I know what you’re thinking. A normal person would never have said that whether it was to a child or not. Well, you may be right. But that’s exactly my point. I don’t usually go around thinking that things on the floor have been pooped on by bugs. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about whether or not a bug has that sort of business to take care of. Somehow, this mommy brain of mine thinks on a whole other level, and it’s making me say the darndest things. (Spellchecker is informing me that darndest is not a word. Says who? Instead it suggested using dandiest. Well that definitely doesn’t sound right.)
But enough about me. What about you? What have you found yourself saying that deserves a spot on the quote wall?
Note: I should add that Bosco most definitely assured me that “a spider not poop on the O. It’s yummy. And I don’t eat poop.” So, yeah. No worries.