Friday Confessions: My thoughts. Not necessarily my accent.

I’m about to blow your mind. Ready? Okay. Sometimes I think thoughts. Random thoughts. I guess that’s not all that stupendous. Most people have thoughts throughout the day that would be considered random. But do other people think their thoughts with an accent? Cuz I do. Usually it’s a British accent, sometimes an Irish brogue, or an Australian dialect. Sometimes it’s just simply a Southern twang. And other times it’s an accent unknown to mankind. So here’s a list of 10 random thoughts I had today. I’ll let you choose which accent my inner monologue used.

1. I wouldn’t mind spending all my money on a never-ending supply of massaman curry and pad thai.

2. I heard that every time you blow your nose you kill brain cells. I wonder if that is true. If it is, then that would explain a lot.

3. Amazing how quickly my body can produce snot. Why is it so viscous today?

4. I quite like the word viscous . . . viscous . . . viscous . . . viscous!


5. I think I feed off other people. Not in a cannibalistic way of course.


6. Bosco’s whining makes me feel like wailing and gnashing my teeth. No. That’s too dramatic. It makes me feel like taking a piece of chewed up gum and stretching it to cover his lips. No. He’d probably just start chewing it while he continued to whine.


7. Was that mold or ice crystals on that strawberry? Sure hope it was ice crystals


8. Boo to the filth.

9. Whoever created this Transformers toy needs to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. He or she will also have to come over to my house every time Bosco wants me to put it back together.


10. Aren’t kids supposed to like pizza? It must be a myth that all the pizzerias somehow concocted, and permeated into the minds and hearts of all America. I’m so gullible. Or maybe it's just that kids don't eat anything at birthday parties unless it's covered in icing.