Well another visit to the dentist has turned into another declaration of “CAVITY!” which has now resulted in half my face being numb from chin to forehead. I think even my eyeball is showing signs of paralysis. I’m not worried about it . . . yet.
But I am vexed to discover that even through the intense numbness I can somehow feel an itch in some underlying cheek nerve. But, my friends, this is one of those itches that likes to play coy. It cannot be alleviated, especially since I can’t even feel my fingers trying to scratch it. Maddening for sure. Sort of makes me feel like I’m going crazy or possibly dreaming. Like a unicorn is tinkling me with a rainbow. Is this for real?
Anyway I’ve been dealing with this scenario for about two hours and if my sons cared about their mother’s sanity, they’d indeed be worried by now. Luckily they don’t care.
So the only thing left for me to do is sit in front of the television and judge commercials.
Dear Nutella peoples/creators,
I love your chocolatey creamy goodness. I’m sure hazelnuts are healthy for me and my kids, just as you claim. So yes. Good thing you’re chock-full of those hazelnuts. BUT! Trying to get me to believe that I should load my kids up on it for breakfast is oh so funny. Because, as I’m sure you know, in addition to hazelnuts, your also chock-full of Nutella. Ha! That was a silly oversight on your part. Hehehe. Can’t stop laughing.
P.S. Also I don’t usually share things that are chocolate in nature, especially not with my children. Oversight Number 2.
Dear toilet paper guy,
Yeah you. The one who keeps asking someone down the hall to throw you a roll of toilet paper because you’re out. And then you have to stand there in fear because you aren’t sure if the toilet paper is going to shave your head or bust up in your face. I hate to be the stater of obvious things, because generally I am the one who is oblivious to common sense, BUT I think it would be a smart choice to just start keeping the toilet paper in the bathroom. You know, where all the action is taking place anyway. It’s called streamlining, and I’m a huge fan of it.
P.S. I should probably take my own advice.
And now I’m drained of energy and my numb face is a ticking time bomb of frustration so I’ll stop before I alienate all of you. Apologies if any of you were the actual makers of those commercials. I’m still not totally sure if I’m writing this post in real life or not, what with this unicorn tickle and all. So there’s that.
Good day sir.