There comes a point in everyone’s life when a very important decision has to be made, one that will affect all future decisions, and all future outlooks. They must decide if the world in which we live is hunky dory (perfectly alright), or flat out crazy (scarily befuddling). This weekend I was unexpectedly faced with this very dilemma and had no other choice than to go with flat out crazy. Why? Because of the horror I encountered while bra shopping. Yes bra shopping.
Now normally there’s nothing scary about a bra. I have a tendency to leave mine lying around the house because I consider my entire home to be my very own dressing room. Remember this post? There were some who thought it was a cat (hehe), but it was my nursing bra, on my bookshelf. I only say all this to show you that I’m not afraid of bras. They’re just a part of life. We all know what they look like, and if you don’t . . .
There. That’s what your basic bra looks like.
How was I to know that this weekend, just by entering the lacy, frilly walls of my nearest Victoria’s Secret, I was going to encounter insanity in cup sizes A, B, C, and D? I insist that there was no way of knowing this! Of course there’s always the normal nervousness of being surrounded by knickers that other people may or may not have tried on, and usually my only fear in going there is that I will see someone I know, a male, who is there alone, and just “browsing.” But now I also have to worry about being faced with life-changing decisions. And yes I’m asking the very same question you are. Who knew bra shopping could be so dramatic?
Well now that I’ve built this up to an almost unbearable suspense level, I should also probably tell you what had me all shocked and slightly chagrined.
It was this my friends: a bra that offered full coverage and support, with the lovely added feature of fake nipples, to give the appearance of being braless and chilly. To be worn just as you would any other bra while out and about running errands, going to work, dropping the kids off at school, shopping, dining, making a fool of yourself etc. And you can exhibit this chilly au naturale look while still having the support your bosom needs. Oxymoron? Is that the right word?
Well you better believe I picked that bra up (and maybe laughed out loud) and poked it a few times just to make sure it wasn’t a figment of my imagination. But it was real, the bra that is. And there are real people out there who created this. And there are real people out there who sell this and who buy this. I’m all for feeling feminine, but can’t a regular old bra do that without being so . . . pointy . . . and confusing.
Maybe this bra is old news, seeing as how it was in the sale bin, but this, my friends, is why I had to choose flat out crazy.
Disclaimer: Friend, if you own this bra, please do not be offended. You are still valuable to me. Let's not let bras come between us. But just know, that thing you are wearing right now is probably the main source of the headache I've had all weekend.