Friday Confessions: If you can't reach me it's because I'm not in my cave

I can’t believe I’m going to tell y’all this. It sort of makes me feel like a cave woman living with her cave family in a cave, den if you will, snacking on day old dinosaur meat and washing it all down with a hand-scoop of fresh swamp water. Yes, that pretty much sums up how I feel when I tell people I don’t have a cell phone.

You heard it straight from the cave woman herself. My family does not own a cell phone. Smart phone? What’s that? Texting? Sounds creepy? Being able to be reached by cellular technology 24/7? Sounds like a nightmare.

Let me clarify a few things though before you totally think me bonkers.

One: I had a cell phone when I was single and cool. When the Husband and I got married the cell phone went and college tuition stayed. I did however keep that trusty old Nokia of mine as a memento. People laugh when they see it. You're probably wondering why people see it? Well that's because the Husband likes to show it to visitors.

Two: I would like a cell phone. I am not anti-cell phone. The husband is. The thought of wanting to be “reachable” whenever, wherever perplexes him. Probably disgusts him a little too.

Three: The Husband is not unwilling to compromise. When I was preggers with Bosco and birth was imminent, I made requested that we get one of those pay-as-you-go cell phones. He obliged. Turns out though that all I had to do to let him know I was in labor was turn over in bed and tell him my water just broke. Bummer. He did get to use the cell phone a few hours later though to call his parents and tell them their first grandbaby had arrived, which he did right after he spent a few minutes trying to figure out how to use the cell phone. Tee hee.

Four: We still have that very same pay-as-you-go cell phone. I carry it around occasionally in case of emergencies when we are traveling. But you must know that this phone barely qualifies as a phone. It is not smart. It is not even semi-smart. It is only just barely averagely smart. And smart isn’t even the right word for it. Plus it looks like this:
That's a potato.

Only sillier, slightly thinner, and less edible.

Five: So technically I do have a cell phone, but not in the terms a cell phone has come to mean these days. Technology is passing us by, and the Husband usually doesn’t seem to care one bit.

At least this is what I thought until yesterday about 6:08 P.M., when the Husband revealed to me what he is getting me for Christmas/my upcoming birthday. I didn’t even think to measure how far my jaw dropped.
I’ve got to admit I didn’t see that one coming. It’s not a cell phone, but apparently the Husband is willing to go to totally illogical lengths to distract me from that fact. Dag nabbit it worked.

Note: It is absolutely, probably, most likely possible that tiny green alien life forms are currently inhabiting my Husband's body. Has this ever happened to any of you? What should I do?


Unknown said...

As I was sitting at the breakfast table, with my new smart phone in my hand, I turned the phone towards my husband and said what is this? By the way, husbands father now owns a cell phone

Sara Louise said...

Fantastic Xmas present!
And I'll confess, I've been living in France for over a year and still do not have a French cell phone. I just don't have a need, I'm always at home!

Unknown said...

What I meant to say is that I'm interested in your gift, i.e. I didn't know what it was, I can't wait to see it!

The redhead said...

Cindy-I figured that's what you meant :) And I'm typing this from my ipad right now! what what.
Sara Louise-Yes it is awesome! And call me ignorant but I had no idea you had to have a special French phone while in France. I guess that makes sense.

Bonnie said...

I don't think I could survive without a cell phone. My BlackBerry holds my liiiiiifeeee.
I do, however, applaud your ability to resist the technology-obsessed culture in which we live. Withstanding the pressure is a true sign of your strength. Congratulations. :)


The redhead said...

Bonnie-yes I am a pillar of strength. However this iPad is definitely helping me out of the Stone Age.

Keri said...

JJ and I also have one pay-as-you-go cell phone between us. I thought we were the only ones.

The redhead said...

Keri -Oh no my friend. You are not alone. I'm glad to know we lead similar lives, in the cell phone department. I was starting to feel very weird considering some 8 year olds have cell phones. Or at least they do in TV commercials.

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