This weekend I got to meet my new niece in all her female glory. Can I just say it was a little weird to hold a baby girl? Somehow it just felt different than holding a baby boy. She’s only a couple weeks old and she’s already oozing her own special aura. In other related news, I didn’t need to worry about her peeing in my face! That alone made this a visit of epic proportions.
Before I had my own children, I swore that there was no way I could ever have a boy. Ruffians those boys. I'll tell you what. I grew up with four sisters. I knew nothing about boys. Well, basically nothing. I knew they liked to throw rocks and wipe their snot with their shirt sleeve. So naturally, I felt that my estrogen drenched family background set me up perfectly to be a mother to girls . . . not boys. And then I got pregnant. And I could feel with all of my little preggers body that the baby inside of me was the foreign gender. It was a boy. I just knew it. Even before we got to see him holding his boy parts on the ultrasound. But that sure solidified in my mind what my life was going to be like. Absolute uncharted territory.

And then I got pregnant again a couple years later. As much as I thought in my mind that a girl would be fitting (one of each), and that having two boys would be practically impossible to handle, there was always this little leprechaun in the back of my head saying, “You know it’s the foreign gender again me dear.” But I denied that little rascal, up until I was sitting in the chair waiting for the ultrasound. I told the Husband I wanted to change my guess. Because I reluctantly said GIRL! on the drive there because I just could not bring myself to say BOY! That would have made it too real. But the Husband said it was too late. Once we walked through the doctor’s office door, all votes were final.

Well fine! Except I knew. Even before the ultrasound started, I felt a panic attack coming on because I just knew it was going to be another boy, and he was going to be holding his boy parts again. And how was I, the girl with four sisters, going to handle two boys? Because once you have two boys you might as well have twenty. Right? That’s my philosophy on the matter anyway.
Well two boys later, I can honestly say, well done Universe. I’ve gone from thinking no sons were in my future, to thinking no daughters are in my future. And quite honestly, if a girl ever did come along I wouldn’t have any idea what to do. Hey there girl, uh daughter of mine. Want to um, I don’t know, play with this here wrench. Oh I know! How about you pretend to be a super hero who fixes trucks and talks in a deep voice. Braids? Oh no. You don't want that. How about a baseball hat?  I know that is all very stereotypical. Oh well.

So after spending the weekend with my new little niece, cuddling her, smelling her, hearing her cries, and touching her toes, I can report four things with absolute certainty:

-Girls are not boys.
-I do not miss the postpartum two-month fog.
-I was able to return home without having been bitten by the baby hungry bug.
-Girls are way more fun to dress up. Boys are more fun to watch sleep.

Side note: When I was pregnant with Bosco, a lady once asked me if I felt gross carrying around a boy inside my body, since I was basically two genders at that moment in time and space. Are.you.kidding.me.For.the.love.of.monkeys.are.you.serious? I laughed. Then I threw up. Then I laughed some more. Then I told the baby inside of me to stop being such a barbarian and to get his knee caps out of my rib cage.


Kristina P. said...

I have always wanted boys. It's not until I had a niece last year that I thought a little cute girl would be nice.

Did she try to strangle you?

The redhead said...

No strangling, but I think she managed to punch everyone in the room...you know Chuck Norris style.

The Atomic Mom said...

When we found out DS was a boy, I was a bit disappointed -- for about 3 seconds. I just had no idea about baby boys, but now I am totally good -- haha. But seriously, I'm happy with trucks, airplanes, dogs and blue. I'm afraid that if I ever have a girl I will have forgotten how to play dress up and princess.

The redhead said...

Atomic Mom-Totally! How exactly does one even play dress up without toting a gun or a cowboy hat. And princesses are poo poos.

Elizabeth said...

Both genders at the same time? What a weird comment.

Aubry Macbean said...

I just sit here laughing at the last part. Who asks something like that? People are weird. Funny it wasn't until the Buds started crawling that I finally realized that boys are different then girls. Pumpkin peed on me a couple of times so even girls can squirt if the postion is right.

The redhead said...

Elizabeth-Sometimes people just make you think.

Aubry-I have no doubt girls can pee on you. I just imagine it being so much more tame. Like it's not hitting the ceiling, your face, your shirt, and the wall, his own face, and the bed all at the same time. Bubba did that a couple times when he was a wee one. hahaha. no pun intended.

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