A list of thoughts and internal monologue on a cold, snowy winter’s eve

In no particular order:

-I am in a funk

-All I want to do is sit on the couch, eat chocolate, and stalk people on the Internet. Some may call this depression. I call it hibernation.

-I need to start taking my age seriously. I guess this means cold cream and caftans? Bring it on.

-All I want for my birthday is a vacuum. Eureka I hate the one I have now! Of course Dyson is out since the Husband is turned off by the smugness of the British guy and his "revolutionary" ball design. I guess the Husbo just prefers fixed axles? I don’t think he has anything against Oreck though. Hey Oreck, can your people get in contact with my people (me)?

-Everyone needs to give Paula Dean a break y’all. No one gives Jay Leno a hard time for having his own late night talk show even though he probably shouldn't because he mumbles. P.S. Diabetus!

-What are the odds that when I was taking a shower a water droplet would land perfectly on a mole I have on my leg (creating a sort of magnifying illusion) and then stay there long enough for me to notice and think that the mole was suddenly twice the normal size and absolutely wonky? Yeah, definitely a scary couple of seconds.

-How is it that I’m nearly thirty-one and do not own a heating pad?

-Sometimes I find it hard to listen to classical music because it reminds me of Hannibal Lecter.

-Now is probably a good time to regret laying out in the sun lathered in baby oil, when I was a dumb teenager.

-I should also probably repent of pouring a packet of Kool-Aid mix into an obscene amount of sugar and just eating it straight up Pixie-Stix style . . . when I was a teenager.

-I, Redhead, made and ate a homemade sausage egg McMuffin everyday for the past four days. I am out-of-control pleased, and excited about the whole “homemade” part of that statement.

-I am currently weighing the pros and cons of Nair. The End.

A totally necessary picture of my tired eyeball, and a homemade Egg McMuffin.


Kristina P. said...

Hibernation! Yes! I wish we could hibernate all winter long.

Rainee said...

I like hibernation! But then I like going outside when it's as warm as it can be. Get better! Oh, I used to pixie stick style cool aids too when I was young...er.

The redhead said...

Kristina-Who says we can't? I'm all in.

Rainee-Ah, a fellow sinner!

Lara Neves said...

I call it hibernation, too. Unfortunately, it's impossible to truly pull off without a cook and a couple of maids, but I can hope!

Now I need to find some pixie sticks...

The Pizza Family said...

Oooooo that muffin is making me hungry!

The redhead said...

Lara- It's true. It can't be a valid hibernation unless I can me void of all movement.

Pizza- They were delicious. All four of them.

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