Box #1 lay hidden in a cabinet underneath the bathroom sink. I'd like to give myself a little credit in at least keeping this box in a place where the contents are appropriate and expected, even if they have gone unused for years. YEARS. No, its not like I put it in a kitchen cabinet now. That's called organization.
Behold a variety of personal hygiene products that have somehow survived pre-college, college, pre-marriage, marriage, kids, five moves, and ten spring cleanings:
First item, which you are welcome to if it tickles your fancy, are a variety of sample products I somehow accumulated. Hair creme. Lotion. Clay masks. I don't remember where or when I acquired them, but I guarantee you they were college era and pre-marriage era. So about seven years ago.
Next up, hair mousse. Obviously from a period in my life when I used mousse? I'm going to say college era again. Both are about a quarter full if there are any takers out there. I have since switched to gel or the 'nothing' option.
The next two are from a time when I thought blondes had it all. And I wanted it all. I was also too cheap to just go to the salon, and too scared to commit to something truly blonde. Hence, Sun Streaks and Lemon Lights. Never occurred to me to just use natural sun and a real lemon, like from the grocery store. I remember using these with disappointing results when I still lived at home with my parents, so I'm gonna give these a solid ten years ago.
Now body sprays. Oh, excuse me, body splashes. Two of them! Citrus Basil and Sugar Plum. Circa: my early twenties. You do the math. Obviously I preferred the Cool Citrus Basil as there is only a quarter of it left, whereas the Sugar Plum could basically be resold as brand new, except for the fact this it is NOT new. You want them? You got them.
Shower cap! Oh where were you when I needed you shower cap? Oh that's right. I put you in this box for safe keeping, should I ever desire a shower with a cap. You're probably still good right?
There's hardly anything left in this gigantic bottle of lotion. Why keep it? Because there's still some in there and I like to make things stretch. Then I go and forget that I had anything to stretch. This is probably one of the newer products in the box since I am a recurrent purchaser of Jergens for some reason. High turn over rate.
Yes, I used to have a couple stubborn warts. This stuff didn't really help at all, nor did any other home remedy (duct tape?), and yet I kept buying it and hoping. Turns out the only thing that worked was a whole lot of pain in a doctor's office. This box has got to be around eight years old. I think I subconsciously feel that if I dispose of it, that will be a sign to the universe that I have gotten wart cocky, and I'll once again require more painful trips to the doctor's office. Do I dare?
Polo Sport deodorant. Sometimes I like to smell like a well-kempt man. Kidding. This is the Husband's. I gifted it to him one Christmas. Our first Christmas perhaps. Who gives deodorant as a gift? Well, I do. And this was no cheap thing. Obviously he never wears it because somehow it found a home amongst all my things, instead of on his armpits. This could be really useful come April Fool's.
Here we have a candle, still shrink wrapped. Also a can of air freshener. I remember it well from our first year as husband and wife. I had to learn many things quickly that year, such as the fact that this stuff just made everything smell like poop covered melon bursts. Anyone interested? More than half full.
Oh my word. Paper soap. In a coco-papaya Hawaiian scent no less. I'm pretty sure this was given to me by someone special since I kept it despite my former dislike of coconut and papaya. I just don't remember who that someone special was. Grandma? Well I currently like coconut and all things Hawaiian, plus it's PAPER soap so . . .
Oh look. Box#1 is empty. I feel liberated and slightly sick to my stomach.