There is snow in the forecast today. I am not making some euphemism here about how my heart is icy cold to the many advances of Jared Leto and that I continually have to keep turning him down since I’m married and because of all the eyeliner and such. Really Jared? That is not the way to woo.
No that's not what I'm saying. Here is what I'm saying. I'm saying it is literally supposed to snow today. The heavens are going to open up and dump white chilly stuff on my blustery soul and my pumpkins. My actual pumpkins.There's six of them sitting outside right now, poor things.
They could be wrong though, the weather peoples. They’ve been wrong before. But they’re making such a big-to-do about it all that I think they just might be speaking truth here. That one guy even wore his white suit which I guess is supposed to make him look like one giant snowflake, and to foreshadow the onslaught of even more snowflakes.
When I got word of the evil lurking in the skies, all I could do was think about sheets. Nice cozy warm sheets that I probably won’t get to spend as much time snuggled up in as I would want.
So instead I thought about nice cozy socks which would have to suffice. But to be honest cozy socks can get stifling and I’d probably take them off after a few minutes. It’s the thought that counts anyway.
Then I thought about the theme song to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and wondered where all those crazy turtles are today after they had their fifteen minutes of fame. Donatello is probably a recluse living out his days studying nuclear energy. And Raphael is probably living in a van down by the river. I can’t remember the names of the other guys.
This is what snow storms do to me though, a purging of the nonsensical things going on inside my mind. Maybe it has something to do with the barometric pressure, or maybe it's the color white. I don't know. All I know is that I start singing every Disney song known to man. I start thinking about the invention of numbers. I start thinking about how pencils work. I start thinking about the making of Thai fish sauce. I start thinking about the Dewey Decimal System. I start thinking about Robin Williams. In other words, I start thinking crazy.
For me, all it takes is a little nudge.